Injured Reserve

It’s been about two months since I hurt my wrist in an unfortunate fence-jumping incident involving my Ninja Warrior training regimen and some old guys at the beach. Sure, I fell hard on concrete, but two months? Two months?

No wonder athletes in physically demanding sports (not golf or baseball) my age have retired or are about to. The wrist is still sore, but at least it feels OK to resume normal Ninja training activities.

Much respect for guys like Brett Favre, Brian McBride, and Shaq, who can still get it done at that level.

Coens Grab Statues

If you made it through the Oscar broadcast last night (we didn’t), you saw the Coen brothers win for best director/best picture. I’ve been enjoying their movies since before I was old enough or savvy enough to understand just why they were so appealing, so I like this result.

We took in No Country For Old Men (review) last month, and it’s a very good film. Of course the only other nominee we’ve seen was There Will Be Blood, also excellent, with Daniel Day Lewis at his slavering best (no way anyone was going to beat him out for Best Actor), so it’s not like we’re familiar with the rest of the field.

Openings – ‘The Portal’

Been meaning to throw some of the writing on here for months now. I finally concluded I have some sort of subconscious block–and it’s time to rip it away and get over myself.

So anyway, behold, the opening paragraph of ‘The Portal’, which I’m currently trying to place on the e-zine scene. After the bump.

Indy Trailer Out Now

Yes!

Watch it here (lower res) or download the Quicktime in 1080 HD.

‘Ol Indy looks a bit… grizzled… and hopefully there aren’t too many more old-age jokes, but we’re pretty excited around here.

More Hoops Ardido

Khan* said it best: “From hell’s heart, I stab at thee… for hate’s sake, I spit my last breath…at thee…”

(OK, we’ll grant you that’s a little over-the-top, but you just don’t pass on using The Wrath of Khan like this on Valentine’s Day.)

Looks like ‘ol Kelvinator is going down.

It would be freaking awesome if we got IU in the Big 10 tourney now–assuming they’re not banned. I would so drive over to Indy and allow my ardido to burst forth like a boiling vat of Kirk-induced rage.

Meanwhile, sports sage Tupps says it’s time to move on, time for the healing.

I disagree. It’s time for the schadenfreude.

Ron B wants his catchphrase back

Hey, sports-fans, Ron “You Stay Classy, San Diego” Burgundy just called to tell us he’d really appreciate it if we all just chilled on the use of the word class–especially when referencing sporting events and athletic competition.

We’re talking class as defined by Uncle Merriam-Webster in point 14 (an informal usage: elegance, grace, or dignity, as in dress and behavior). Ron B particularly objects to the extensive use-by-extension of classy, classless, and lacking class. He also cautions that sarcastic use of this term and/or prefacing the term with the adverb ‘totally’ could result in heavy fines or even criminal charges.

At Beemsville, we’re in complete agreement. What does elegance, grace, or dignity, as in dress and behavior really have to do with popular sporting events–with basketball or football or soccer, with the fans, coaches, and players… Not much, nor should it. In fact, we would argue that the term classy should heretofore be reserved for Ron B and for certain black-and-white movies, when referring to ‘dames’.

Video Review: Eastern Promises

…starring Viggo Mortensen and Naomi Watts, directed by David Cronenberg, written by Steven Knight.

Here’s a well-made film about choice and consequence, family loyalty, crime, and tattoos. Set in London, it revolves around nurse/midwife Anna (Watts), who delivers the baby of a young Russian and stumbles upon a diary. The young mother dies during birth, and Anna follows the diary’s clues to an upscale Russian restaurant, which fronts for an important organized crime family. There she meets Nikolai (Mortensen), a driver/bad-ass, as well as the boss, Soyka (Aleksander Mikic, who is excellent).

Soyka offers to translate the diary, which, of course, implicates his son and organization. Now Anna is in danger. And in Strange Plot Convergence #1, it seems Anna’s Uncle is a Russian immigrant, so she gives a copy of the diary to for translation. Now her family gets drawn in as well. Then you have Nikolai, new to the scene as Soyka’s son Kiril’s (Vincent Cassel, also excellent), bodyguard and lieutenant. Nikolai is drawn to Anna and seems to have a few shreds if decency, but he’s also trying to prove himself to Soyka and the family.

Crazed Governor Sics Big Cat on Rubes!!!

Did you get the email? You know the one–pictures of a mountain lion on someone’s deck; he’s peering with obvious hunger through the storm door at something… Is that a child in the reflection?!?

And it’s near the old stomping grounds of Findlay on the outskirts of Lake Shelbyville!

Furthermore, said big cat was released there by state officials to combat the out-of-control deer population! It even references the local game warden. Now we all know Governor Blago doesn’t have much use for the downstate electorate, but this is just out of hand…

What are we to do?  Who’s responsible?  And as of this writing, the State Department of Natural Resources website is down!  Have the cougars made their way to the state’s webservers?

If you tuned in to WAND-TV’s nightly news recently, you might know the answer.  LOCK YOUR DOORS!!!

Rivalry Week for Real

The U.S. Soccer team takes on Mexico this Wednesday night in Houston (8:00 pm CST, ESPN2), in one of the best and most heated rivalries this country has to offer. It’s got everything: clutch performances, bad sportsmanship, history, heartbreak, trash talk, golazos, bizarro moments, and heavy duty sports melodrama.

The history goes something like this. In 1934 the U.S. beat the Mexico in their first meeting. After that, Mexico beat us soundly for the next 40-odd years (we managed three ties in that span). The Mexicans liked it that way; they were the ‘Giants of the Region’. Then soccer started to catch on a little. We got our leagues here–first the NASL and now MLS, and started qualifying for World Cups. We also started to win a few against El Tri.

Warning: the rest of this entry is youtube-rific…

Wrasslin’ Masterpiece Theater

Multitalented Beemsville ally Mark V. has a new show on the comedy circuit in Chicago:

Bodyslam! The Rise and Fall of CAWC

The picture pretty much says it all.

After an outstanding opening weekend, the show was a pick of the week for Metromix Chicago (details here). This is clear indication of either the powerful comedic stylings of Mark and Co., or that someone in their troupe has managed to compromise a local journalista. Judging by the unitards, Probably both.

Bodyslam! playing Friday nights at the Annoyance Theater, 10 p.m., until April 11. We hope to make the trip north for a little big city culture sometime soon.