Troublesome Illini Weekend

Illini fans had a rough holiday weekend.  First we had the football team’s loss to Cincinnati, a game in which our quarterback missed open receivers left-and-right, the defense looked completely at a loss, which allowed Illinois to prove how not good they are against a top ten team on national television.  The Bearcats, by the way, play the spread offense the correct way – the way Illinois should – but to run it that way you need an accurate passer and willingness to throw.

Then it was the basketball team’s turn to disappoint.  Bruce Weber’s boys got the chance to play a pair of non-cupcakes away from home in Las Vegas and promptly lost both games.  First they let a 32-16 halftime lead slip away against Utah, a game I didn’t watch due to the internet-only TV coverage, but from all reports sounded like the Illini went passive in the second half, trying to work the clock and maintain the lead, which allowed the Utes to adjust, come back, and win on a last second shot in which Illinois forgot to send anyone back on defense.

Against in-state school Bradley, Illinois was simply outworked and outfought.   This was game the team from Peoria seemed to want more (hence storming the floor like it was an NCAA tourney game at the end).  The Braves built an 8-point lead, which Illinois chipped away at in the second half to move ahead by five with about three minutes to go.  After that, Bradley scored nine of the next 11 points, the Orange & Blue, managed a pair of free throws, and that’s how you choke away a second loss in two games.

Go BSU Broncs!

They run the Statue-of-Liberty in a bowl game.  They win a lot of games (103 this decade, trailing only Oklahoma by one).  They play the spread how it was meant to played (are you watching, Coach Zook?).  They are the consummate BCS party-crashers and underdogs.  And, oh yeah, they play on the most hideous field in all of college football:

The Smurf Turf

Hey, the colors are pretty familiar…  To this we add that they’re on the ESPN channels fairly often on Thursday/Saturday nights, so you can actually watch them.  How do they do it?  How do they recruit kids to Boise?  How do they roll up so many yards and points?  Here in the cradle of Big 10 ineptitude, inquiring minds want to know.  We do know one thing:  the BSU coaching staff figured out long ago that you have to score points to win.  It seems elementary, but our local team’s coaching staff still hasn’t figured that out.  BSU knows how to control the ball – by putting it in the endzone.

So Beemsville hereby adopts Boise State for the remainder of the season (see if that ain’t the kiss of death…).  Here’s hoping they manage to crash the BCS party and knock off one of the sacred cows.  Go Broncs!

Illini Fever!

Catch it!  What’s that?  A stable of offensive weapons the likes of which have not been seen in Champaign in many-a-moon?  What?  A new offensive coordinator known for scoring points and rolling up yardage?  Who?   A pair of dark-horse Heisman candidates – wait, HAHAHAHAHAHA.  HA-HA.

We caught the Illini fever.  The boy had about 100 degrees at gametime, a holdover from the little girl’s earlier illness, but like any right-thinking alumni parents, we went to the game anyway, expecting a cure for what ailed us.  We coughed up too much dough in hopes of finally seeing the Orange & Blue beat the Tiggers at the dome.  Instead we bore witness to one of the illest Illinois performances in recent memory. 

To quote the Zooker (and in keeping with the theme): “I feel sick for these guys.  I feel sick for them. I feel sick for the Illini Nation. It’s up to us to make sure we get that fixed.“

We’re all feeling the sickness today.  It’s a good thing beloved President Obama is going to fix healthcare and provide free cures for everyone!  But seriously, did Juice throw the ball down the field even once?  No?  And just what was that strange-looking permutation of the spread?  You run the spread to score points, not play ball control (as the coaches claimed was our objective).  You want to play ball control, line up like Wisconsin or Iowa and run between the tackles.  Otherwise, well …  Nevermind.  It’s not even worth it.

Suffice to say you will not see anymore Illini football blogging on Beemsville until there’s something worth commenting upon.  Because we’re sick of it already.

Illini Football Season Preview

The Zooker

‘Round these parts, we’re ready for some college football.  That means Illini.  That means dubiously-informed opinions on the how, what, and wherefore said Illini might succeed, entertain, and/or disappoint this year.  We’re hoping for more of the former and less of the latter.  We’ll do this in a semi-analytical fashion, so let’s begin with some facts and move on.

2007= 9-4 and the Rose Bowl.  2008 = 5-7 and gnashing of teeth.  There are all kinds of neat statistics about the last two seasons, like how Illinois generated vastly more offense than their opponents last year, how the 08 defense allowed fewer yards than the 07 defense, like how many yards and touchdowns Juice Williams accumulated.  There’s also stats like Number of times Illini fans swore like sailors at the offensive play-calling, ability to miss key tackles, and number of screw ups on special teams.  We know Juice, Benn, et al could break some records this year.  We also know  the margins are slim.  So here’s a fun internal conversation that constitutes our official Beemsville preview.

How do we set the parameters for success? 8-5 and a top bowl game.  Anything less will be disappointing.  10-3, at least a share of the Big 10 Conference, and another BCS appearance should be the goal.

But the non-conference schedule is so hard! Yes, it is.  Top 10 in a difficulty.  And it’s wacky, too with those two December games.  But if you score more points than the other guy…

Your College Football Champion…

…ladies and germs, I give you the Utah Utes.

What?  You think that other game going on tonight [Note: posted in the 3rd quarter] has any bearing?  Really?  Why, because a computer and national perception told us so?  Sure, Florida and Oklahoma are mighty good teams.  So is Texas.  So is USC.   And all those teams have one thing in common: a single loss.  Unlike the Utes.

If only there were some way, some fashion to have the top teams play a sort of tournament (like every other college and professional sport in this country) to name a national champion.  Some kind of playoff…  How novel!

Even beloved Pres-Elect Obama has publicly endorsed a playoff!  What more do you need?  At the same time, the pundits and pseudojournalists have not taken up the hue and cry.  All you hear about is plus-one.  An extra bowl game between the perceived best suitors at year’s end.  OK, then who do you take this year.  Who plays the winner of Oklahoma-Florida the next week.  Texas?  Nah.  USC?  Maybe, if they didn’t get the advantage of playing their bowl game in their back yard every year.  No, the answer is clearly the Utes.