No New Moons Here

Like the majority of red-blooded hetero American males, I stayed the hell away from New Moon this weekend.  Of course that didn’t stop the wife from going, nor did it stop the film from bringing in a near-Batman-like box office haul.  It’s not that I won’t go watch the occasional romantic comedy or chick-flick now and again, no, what it comes down to is a lack of respect for and dumbing down of the whole monster mythos genre.

The clincher for me was the scene in Twilight in which the girl and vampire-boy Edward ascend from the overcast forested shadows into the sunlight.  And what happens?  His skin sparkles like diamonds.  It’s so beautiful, says the girl.  No burning death, weakness, not even a little smoke.  Nothing but sparkly.  And this, my friends, is an insult to true horror fans everywhere.  It’s not that we’re against reimagining the folklore and mythology around traditional creatures like vampires and werewolves; shows like Buffy, the Blade movies, and even the Underworld movies have done this in some respect.  But do try to understand and  respect that  mythology and folklore, so any changes you make have some resonance, instead of seeming like a poorly conceived plot device designed to make teenaged girls sigh. 

October Good for Lovecraft

Any month is a good month for the fiction of horror master H.P. Lovecraft, but October provides an added aura of foreboding.  Not that many of Lovecraft’s stories are particularly Halloweenish, and he was more apt to include ageless alien demi-gods in his fiction than ghosts or witches or the like, but there’s something about a gray stormy evening with a cold autumn wind blowing that makes passages of nameless horror especially tasty.  For this reason I’ve been re-reading at least one classic Lovecraft story each October the last few years.  (Having read virtually all of them the first time back in college.)

Movies: Zombieland

…directed by Ruben Fleischer, written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin.  Zombieland is a light-hearted buddy comedy about the eventual Zombie apocalypse that will consume us all.  It begins with the standard zombie premise with which we’ve grown accustomed – a horrible viral infection turns people into ravening beasts and all hell breaks loose.  We learn from our narrator Columbus (Eisenberg) the rules to surviving in Zombieland, including 1) cardio, 2) the double-tab, and 3) seatbelts.

Columbus, it turns out, is the kind of young guy with a lengthy list of phobias and a penchant for World of Warcraft.  This actually serves him well, because he’s so cautious and paranoid he’s managed to avoid most of the mistakes that seem to have befallen the rest of the populace.  When he meets up with Tallahassee (Harrelson), he find a complete opposite in nearly every trait.  Tallahassee is fearless, somewhat careless, and an absolute zombie-crushing machine.  It’s your standard end-of-days odd couple, and fortunately for the viewer, the two actors have a good sense of timing and chemistry.

The two men soon meet up with a young woman called Witchita (Stone) and her twelve-year-old sister, Little Rock (Breslin).  These ladies eventually convince  the crew to head for L.A. (why anyone would want to go to an urban area in a true zombie infestation is beyond me).  

Video Pick: Donnie Darko

Written and directed by Richard Kelly, starring Jake Gyllenhall, Mary McDonnell, Maggie Gyllenhall, Jena Malone, Patrick Swayze.  For years, people whose opinions I value have recommended the 2001 film Donnie Darko highly.  Last weekend we finally sat down and watched it, so now I understand why.  This is one of those movies that defies convention:  Is it sci-fi?  Is it psychological thriller?  Teen drama?  You can tell the studio was having a tough time pinning Donnie Darko down as well – the trailers and on the DVD were just awkwardly awful.  (Note the dueling themes of the promo materials below.)

Pseudo-Horror Promo

The movie starts with young Donnie (Gyllenhall) waking up on the side of the road beside his bike.  He smiles to himself and pedals for town, and your immediately asking yourself what’s going on with this kid.  Writer/director Kelly quickly proves adept at holding back certain details of character and plot points until just the right moment, which adds to the mystery and suspense.  It turns out, Donnie has been taking psych meds to deal with his emotional and mental problems as well as seeing a shrink.  The Darko family is otherwise a fairly standard suburban crew.  Older sister Liz (M. Gyllenhall) is taking a year off before going to college, younger sister Samantha seems a decent kid, and Mom and Pop are supportive and perfectly normal.

So when Donnie gets into an argument with Liz, curses at the dinner table, and acts like a total dick to his mom, you have a tough time reading him.  Is he a spoiled kid or does he really have issues?  Turns out, it’s the issues.  That night a voice rouses him to a trance-like state and entices him from his room, telling him he needs to get out of the house.  Donnie follows, sees the source of the voice in the distance (a mysterious yet sinister figure in a bunny-suit), who tells him the end is nigh, about three weeks from now.  Donnie wanders off and ends up sleeping at the golf course.

Checking in with The Goon

A couple of years ago, I started reading Eric Powell’s The Goon, a noirish old timey zombie send-up featuring the hamfisted title character, his sidekick Frankie (“knife to the eye”), the Nameless Zombie Priest, and a memorable supporting cast of misfits.  I loved it.

Powell is one of those writer/artists with a firm grip of technique and  knowledge of comic book history.  You can see the influence of giants like Will Eisner and Jack Kirby without much effort.  You can also see the influence of more recent pros like Mike Mignola, Mike Oeming, and yes, Garth Ennis in his work.  The Goon has been with Dark Horse for several years now, usually published 4 to 5 times a year.  The book often includes smaller side side stories as well as a main feature that may or may not have anything to do with a longer narrative thread.  Following this recipe, Powell managed to build a devoted fan base and garner some awards (several Eisners included) over the past years.

Books: Narcissus in Chains

by Laurell K. Hamilton.  Narcissus in Chains is horror/fantasy/romance aimed at a more feminine audience,  from the popular series of ‘Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter’ novels.  The target reader for this book is likely:  a) She-nerds, b) Grown-up Buffy aficionados, c) Romance readers with decent imaginations.  I’m guessing I’m not part of the Anita Blake marketing campaign, but I bought the book for the wife, having heard good things about the series, and she suggested I check it out when she was done.  I was also curious about crossover romance/fantasy/horror/erotica writing aimed squarely at females, as it has become an important subset of the whole speculative fiction scene.

Narcissus starts off with promise, as Anita quickly finds herself in a seedy dominant/submissive/leather sex type club in East St. Louis, which is run by were-hyenas.  (C’mon, admit it: if you live in St. Louis or downstate Illinois you’ve probably at least considered checking out one of those clubs at some point…) Anita needs to rescue a couple of her were-leopard peeps who enjoy being dominated, and she needs the help of her two recently neglected beaus to do so.  It seems Anita has been mystically melded to effete Vampire Lord Jean-Claude and buff Werewolf King Richard through the marks they shared in a previous book.  She’s been putting off choosing between them, but this has caused those marks to become holes in her magical defenses.  Holes that are in danger of being penetrated.  And Anita quickly realizes the only answer is to have Richard and Jean-Claude fill both those holes…

Saucy…  Intriguing…  Oooh…

Books: YBFH 2007

The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror 2007, edited by Ellen Datlow, Kelly Link, and Gavin J. Grant.

This series has long been hailed as vital reading for connoisseurs of short speculative fiction.  The 2007 edition, which is the twentieth in the series, headlines Joyce Carol Oates, M. Rickert, and Gene Wolfe, and clocks in at more than 250,000 words (452 pages).  I am glad to report I enjoyed most of the stories in this volume and only failed to finish a handful*.

Any time you’re reading a Year’s Best compilation, what you’re really getting is the best according to the series’ editors.  In Science Fiction/Fantasy/Horror this is doubly so as these collections are published before the annual awards are announced in the summer.  In this case we have Datlow, former editor of Omni and Sci Fiction (the late lamented original sci-fi/fantasy webzine hosted at scifi.com; if I ever meet the shiftless corporate boob who cancelled Sci Fiction, it’s on…), and we have Link and Grant, who run Small Beer Press, publishers of the zine, Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet and other stuff.  These are excellent editors and true professionals, no doubt about it, but that doesn’t mean we can’t question a few of their choices.

DVD Pick: Perfect Creature

…starring Dougray Scott and Saffron Burrows, written and directed by Glenn Standring.

Although Perfect Creature purports to be a vampire movie, it’s not really a vampire movie;  it’s an well-conceived alternate history/mystery/thriller with a few vamprie elements thrown in (no doubt for the marketing sclhubs).

The logline sounded promising.

Paraphrasing here:  In a world where Isaac Newton’s cousin created vampires through genetic experimentation, and those vampires became part of the established church, calling themselves ‘the Brotherhood’ , dedicating themselves to priestlike service to maintaining harmony with humans instead of eating them, and they’ve also become the leading scientists of the age, someone’s gone all Lugosi…

It’s a pretty cool premise.  Writer/director Standring establishes this alternate world quickly, with grace and style.  He imbues the setting with strong steampunk sensibilities and adds in the vampire element without getting stuck in the mire of vamp cliches.  In this world, the Brotherhood are human-kind’s benevolvent watchers, and the established religion includes literal blood sacrifices by the faithful.  There are airships and steamcars, and it looks fairly Edwardian London.  Here we find Brother Silus (Scott) on the trail of another Brother engaging in the usual Hollywood Vampire behavior.

Review: The Damned: Three Days Dead

…written by Cullen Bunn, art by Brian Hurtt, published by Oni Press.

I saw some promotional material for The Damned two years ago at Wizard World Chicago and thought it looked cool. This last year at WWC I picked up the trade and chatted with the two creators, Bunn and Hurtt. They were cool. Their book is cool.

The basic hook/setting for The Damned: Three Days Dead is a prohibition era gangland caper wherein the criminal underworld is dominated by demons. It’s Hellblazer meets The Untouchables according to one comics reviewer, and that seems pretty accurate. To make a decent go of it in today’s crowded market, an Indie Comic needs some kind of genre-fusion angle to promote, and you’ll see every kind of weird and gimmicky crossover imaginable. In the case of The Damned, while the hook may not be shockingly original–we’ve seen our share of underworld/Underworld stuff (though not so much during prohibition)–the book itself is very well done.