Out of Semi-Retirement

…yes, tomorrow I’ll be heading east to play 3-on-3 basketball on the mean streets of Champaign.

This is probably not the best idea.

Basketball is a tough sport for young men, and the truth is the guys my age who do it for a living are mostly retired. A friend of mine just emailed that he had blown out his knee last year (which made two blown knees) and he’s given up hoops for rock climbing. I hope that email wasn’t a harbinger.

Personally, I think our team’s goals should be to play and have fun and avoid injury. We’ll see. The thing is, the guys I’m playing with, my old team from college, well… We were some obnoxiously competitive white boys back in the day. Our team name was House of Pain after, yes, the hip-hop Boston Irish guys, and we had green shirts with our own little logo on the front. We talked shit, we ran our courts, we had skills… We used to go out to the bars afterwards and guys would say, “Hey, you’re the green shirt dudes.” Yes, we’d say, now bow down before us. If not, we’d fight. Then their girlfriends would flock to us with offers to pleasure us orally. And we would all drink more beer…

We still have those green shirts…

Obviously, I can’t help but look forward to a little bball with the fellas. Check back later to find out how we all held up.


One thought on “Out of Semi-Retirement

  1. I don’t remember ever having their girlfriends flock to us, although I do remember a few other incidents in which we were yelled and screamed at by their girlfriends, I suppose that could be “oral pleasure,” if you’re into that sort of degrading banter.

    My goals for the tourney are as follows;
    1. Win the whole frickin’ thing.
    2. Have Shorty re-earn his nickname.
    3. Have Kile start at least one fight every other game.
    4. Win the Toilet Bowl.
    5. Hurt someone.
    6. Not get hurt, have a heart attack or otherwise cause myself or any of my teammates any type of strife or pain.

    If we can follow at least 5 of the above, it will be considered a successful week-end.

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