Come on, who’s pumped up! Who wants some? Here at Beemsville, we’re relieved that the long nightmare is nearly over. No, no, not the current regime (though we’re sick of that, too); I’m talking about the last two years of blaring, tinny, sensationalist, shrill, not-focusing-on-the-real-issues, wall-to-wall media coverage. It’s been beyond ridiculous. I’m ready for a five month election season. Go on, tell me you’re not…
Think about it. Primaries begin in May – a five tier system that has 10 states on a primary date every other week. Some big states, some small. Every four years the 10 state tiers will rotate so you have the opportunity to go first, last, and in between. So after 10 weeks of primaries, you’re in mid-July and you have your candidates. The Conventions in early August, and then 2.5 months of head-to-head campaiging. Four mandatory debates organized by issues (foreign policy, economic policy, social policy, battle royale). Oh, and we’re also doing away with the electoral college in it’s current format. Less money spent, less media, more substance.
For now, we want to adovcate getting out to vote. We also want to throw in with a particular candidate (finally). Yes, it’s true, we’ve been reluctant to bring politics into this blog, but now we’re ready for our endorsement (after the bump)…
That’s right, why would you settle for the lesser evil? You don’t think Cthulhu knows foreign policy? Ask Shub-Niggurath or the Cthonians about that. You don’t think he knows domestic? Mere economics are of no concern when your sanity hovers on the whim of a Great One. And social policy? Please. Have you looked at the healthcare system in R’lyeh? How about their educational system?
VOTE CTHULHU! HE DREAMS OF A BETTER TOMORROW! (In which your soul satiates his hideous hunger)
Beemsville 
U have some issues! Get into reality you wanker!
Pencil in Bill O’Sullivan and my running mate, Scott Beem
O.K. so where does ole’ Shubby stand on the important issues. Like the iminent invasion from our “not so freindly neighbors from the north?” Thats right how does he plan on protecting my budding Metric Hammer Manufacturing business from the Candian hordes poised for attack. Also, I’d like to know his stance on Halloween costumes?!?!? I can’t in good faith vote for a candidate that hasn’t seen all 100 original episodes of Bill Nye the Science Guy. What is Mr. Niggurath’s stance on Mustaches’? These are the type of hard hitting answers I’m afraid he can’t answer, so I’ll therefore be casting my vote for either a ticket of Ricardo Lopez and Cuff from the 3-2-1 Contact detectives on the Blood Hound Gang, or Ross Perot.