Catch it! What’s that? A stable of offensive weapons the likes of which have not been seen in Champaign in many-a-moon? What? A new offensive coordinator known for scoring points and rolling up yardage? Who? A pair of dark-horse Heisman candidates – wait, HAHAHAHAHAHA. HA-HA.
We caught the Illini fever. The boy had about 100 degrees at gametime, a holdover from the little girl’s earlier illness, but like any right-thinking alumni parents, we went to the game anyway, expecting a cure for what ailed us. We coughed up too much dough in hopes of finally seeing the Orange & Blue beat the Tiggers at the dome. Instead we bore witness to one of the illest Illinois performances in recent memory.
To quote the Zooker (and in keeping with the theme): “I feel sick for these guys. I feel sick for them. I feel sick for the Illini Nation. It’s up to us to make sure we get that fixed.”
We’re all feeling the sickness today. It’s a good thing beloved President Obama is going to fix healthcare and provide free cures for everyone! But seriously, did Juice throw the ball down the field even once? No? And just what was that strange-looking permutation of the spread? You run the spread to score points, not play ball control (as the coaches claimed was our objective). You want to play ball control, line up like Wisconsin or Iowa and run between the tackles. Otherwise, well … Nevermind. It’s not even worth it.
Suffice to say you will not see anymore Illini football blogging on Beemsville until there’s something worth commenting upon. Because we’re sick of it already.